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The Magic of Christmas: More Than a Myth

Moments in Time There’s something about our senses; how they can transport you to memories and feelings that sit, tucked away in your mind for years, decades even. A room scented with cigarette smoke is hardly desirable, or even commonplace these days, but if I ever get a waft of it, I am teleported to a special place! The lingering smell of Grandad’s cigarette smoke, counteracted by Nana’s pristinely kept home, and the seemingly constant aroma of roasting potatoes, and other comforting delights, provided the perfect concoction to engrain memories to last a lifetime.  When we made the long journey to Westward Ho!, we’d look out for familiar landmarks along the way and once we spotted the sea from the brow of the Northam hill, we knew we were close. We’d slowly make our way down the long driveway as the gravel of the Royal North Devon Golf Club car park crunched beneath the wheels. The excitement never waned as my Grandparents would await us, along with their Golden Retriever, Tally...
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Starting Over

A Pint of Coors Light and a White Wine Spritzer  ‘Ok, I’m doing it!’. I sidled up to the busy holiday park bar, as the New Year’s party was still warming up. After ten minutes of shall we, shan't we, I finally plucked up the courage to go. The people were lined up one behind the other, something I had always frowned upon before, but having been out of the game for two years I did my best to reserve judgement. Besides, that was the old me anyway, I was about to come back a brand new drinker; a moderator, non-judgemental and in control. One-by-one the people in front of me placed their orders and returned to their colourfully patterned, cushioned seats to take in the evening entertainment. Now, it was my turn! I managed to utter the words more confidently than I had feared after our 2 year hiatus; ‘a pint of Coors Light and a white wine spritzer, please’. My order felt about as natural as my first attempt to get served in the Nags Head back in 2001. Only this time the answer was diff...
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All Consuming: Bottles to books

Whether or not I believe in the idea of an 'addictive personality', I can’t escape the fact that once I’m into something, I’m all in. Understanding that about myself helps me temper over-indulgence now, but my ‘all in’ attitude used to run unchecked in my younger drinking days, and it's fair to say it did cause some problems. The paradoxical challenge is that the same intensity has driven me to most of my successes in life though, so it would be unwise to try to blunt that spiky edge of my personality too much. I have proven to myself many times that this all consuming trait can be channelled into positive outcomes, and never more so than in my early days of choosing AF; I think that’s why the first few weeks and months felt so easy. I’m a sucker for novelty and during those early weeks, I found all the shiny new information about sobriety infatuating. So, this month’s blog is slightly different and whilst there may be the odd memoir and deep thought, this one is really abo...
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The Journey is the Destination

When I write these blogs they often evolve from their muddled, embryonic form into some kind of mini personal revelation. It’s a process that leads to greater clarity, the type of clarity that I struggle with, unless I am journaling and scrutinising my overcrowded mind. However, clarity alluded me a few days ago when someone in a bar asked me a pretty straightforward question, ‘why did you quit alcohol?' I was taken by surprise, not by the question, but my inability to deliver the killer answer having spent 3.5 of the last 5 years living AF. I stumbled over the question like a floundering interviewee desperately trying to recall the mic drop answer, before eventually spewing out an old story about binge drinking and mobile phones with the conviction of a feather in the wind.  Seeking to salvage something from this missed opportunity to spread the joys of living AF, I thought hard about why it can be so difficult to explain something that I have given so much time to understanding o...
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Just Start: 365 days of Joy!

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The Airport Pint - One of the Greats?

After a couple of difficult months coming up with fresh topic ideas, this one picked itself. It's holiday time and, for many people who have contemplated going AF, this really is a no go zone for taking a break or stopping. Pub gardens, holidays, summer sports, the sun being out; lots of events that seem hard to imagine without alcohol and I know exactly where you’re coming from. When I think of the pints that promised the most over the years, the Summer ones were some of the most exciting.  5 years ago I never would have believed what I’m about to say, but I don’t think I’m missing out at all as I embark on another AF Summer. This blog post is more specifically focused on the holiday experience and how I see it so differently now. As always, whatever you are enjoying on your holiday is absolutely none of my business. I have no judgement towards anyone who drinks alcohol on their holiday, none at all. I just want to show those who might want/need to hear it, that AF holidays are no...
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One Big Weekend!

Since embarking on my AF journey, I have often been asked, could you not just have a few? To which the answer is yes, to the surprise of some! Of course, I’ve already been open about my susceptibility to going ‘all in’ and taking things too far, but there were also times where I would feel I got the balance just right. The difference now is that drinking on those nights doesn’t appeal to me anymore. While missing out on the perceived escapism associated with the all day session might, admittedly, still give me the odd pang of sadness, the ‘casual few’ has lost its appeal completely. It was a ‘big’ weekend recently that helped to reaffirm this.  Some people, when they go AF, discover an introverted side of themselves that the alcohol was masking, but I don’t think that’s the case with me. Socialising is still something that I need in my life and that weekend left me feeling positive about the number of social occasions that don’t require alcohol to be enjoyed. Going out both Saturda...
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