Just Start: 365 days of Joy!

Seeking inspiration for my latest blog post, I stumbled across a passage I wrote in an old document just after I reached my first year AF in December 2021. Although I had not written much, it brought back some familiar feelings. Reflecting on those early days evoked feelings that had faded as living AF for sustained periods has become normal to me. Most of all, the snippet served as a reminder of the tidal wave of optimism that starting this journey brought with it.

Wow! It’s hard to believe it’s been more than 365 days since I squashed my last empty can, placed it in the recycling bag and headed off to bed for my last night of drink induced restlessness. In truth, my final hurrah was somewhat uneventful when compared with the shenanigans of years gone by, but the Boxing Day hangover came with an unusual air of optimism.

The Honeymoon Phase

Whenever my life is devoid of optimism and hope, I’ll fight tooth and nail to create something that re-establishes those feelings. They are the cornerstone of my well-being and when they are at peak levels, peace and motivation prevail in all aspects of my life. That first year of AF living brought a new level of optimism, much like starting a new relationship, a new job, or moving home, that honeymoon period where you see only the opportunity and good in the adventure ahead. Being hangover free all weekend made me feel like I had more time to enjoy other things; my fitness improved, spending was more predictable, there was no more wondering what I’d said the night before, or how I’d got home. I remember driving to work about three months in, suddenly realising that I never had to feel that way again. That liberation felt immense, I felt a real sense of control over my future. I was now consuming AF books and podcasts with a thirst for knowledge that I only wish I’d had in my Maths classes in Year 10. It felt like a fresh start, an opportunity to reset my behaviours to truly match my values. 


When the Shine Fades

As time passed I realised there was deeper work to be done, if the change was going to be a lasting one. But once I had decided I was having an indefinite break, that first year was one of the best. Of course, fading affect bias will undoubtedly have removed some of the trickier, triggering moments from that 12 months, but I can’t remember period of my life when I felt more at peace, content and optimistic than the first year of living AF. It has become hard not to take those positives for granted over time though, and sometimes it can take a little work to recognise that those sparkling benefits from the first year are still there. Over time, I have armed myself with tools and strategies that I can now draw upon, if I choose to continue living an AF life. Nothing beats those first 365 days though, and I feel a pang of envy when I hear of others who are in that phase. That feeling of optimism and the sense that I could grow beyond the repetitive cycle that I described in The New 4am Club, is one that might well be unique to that first year.

Just Start!

When I decided to make a change, alcohol was not delivering what it once promised. I was ready for a new adventure and curious to grapple with the truth about it. Maybe you are too? Opening this door was intimidating, I'm sure no one wants to think that their long held beliefs might not be true, I certainly didn’t…. Until suddenly I did. Maybe you’re in this place now and, if so, I hope this brings some optimism. Life will always throw up ‘reasons to drink’, in the end you just have to start, and do it with conviction. Once I picked my start date, the liberation began. It doesn’t have to be forever, my AF period has always been indefinite, it’s my choice. Some people like to decide on a set time frame, if you do that, be careful that you’re not just ‘white knuckling’. A dry January is good, but if you are exhausting will power and counting down the days until 1st Feb, you’re not really enjoying the benefits of living AF. Go searching for the positives with a genuine belief that they’re out there!! Read books (or listen to audiobooks), listen to podcasts, do quirky stuff like enjoying nature and other things you like to do, and most of all revel in the liberation from the cycle that you’ve been stuck in. A cycle might once have brought great joy, but is now taking more than it’s giving.  


An Open Invitation

I have had the odd bit of feedback from my blogs and I love it when I hear from people with whom they resonate so please don’t be shy to interact. I also have plenty of recommendations of books, podcasts etc., that have helped me along the way. Reach out if you want me to share any links with you.










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One Big Weekend!

Since embarking on my AF journey, I have often been asked, could you not just have a few? To which the answer is yes, to the surprise of some! Of course, I’ve already been open about my susceptibility to going ‘all in’ and taking things too far, but there were also times where I would feel I got the balance just right. The difference now is that drinking on those nights doesn’t appeal to me anymore. While missing out on the perceived escapism associated with the all day session might, admittedly, still give me the odd pang of sadness, the ‘casual few’ has lost its appeal completely. It was a ‘big’ weekend recently that helped to reaffirm this.  Some people, when they go AF, discover an introverted side of themselves that the alcohol was masking, but I don’t think that’s the case with me. Socialising is still something that I need in my life and that weekend left me feeling positive about the number of social occasions that don’t require alcohol to be enjoyed. Going out both Saturda...
Read more

At 40: A Milestone Birthday

I drafted this blog about enjoying occasions, earlier this month, but none of what I wrote quite feels personal enough now. For that reason, I went back to pen and paper, and this is the result. It’s raw and honest stuff, but perhaps a bit more of that is needed if my already over sharing nature is going to resonate and ultimately help others. This weekend, as I turned 40, there was a whole raft of emotions and the psychological build up to this particular birthday has been weird for me. I don’t know about anyone else but I reckon I might have had a mini midlife crisis approaching this one. However, you’ll be pleased to know, I woke up Monday morning feeling more like myself and with a fresh sense of optimism. The monkey off the back because 40 had passed and I could now look forward to a whole new decade until the next potentially terrifying milestone: a whole 10 years to attack! The build up was not so easy though and, likewise, the weekend itself. Approaching this milestone has left...
Read more

The Airport Pint - One of the Greats?

After a couple of difficult months coming up with fresh topic ideas, this one picked itself. It's holiday time and, for many people who have contemplated going AF, this really is a no go zone for taking a break or stopping. Pub gardens, holidays, summer sports, the sun being out; lots of events that seem hard to imagine without alcohol and I know exactly where you’re coming from. When I think of the pints that promised the most over the years, the Summer ones were some of the most exciting.  5 years ago I never would have believed what I’m about to say, but I don’t think I’m missing out at all as I embark on another AF Summer. This blog post is more specifically focused on the holiday experience and how I see it so differently now. As always, whatever you are enjoying on your holiday is absolutely none of my business. I have no judgement towards anyone who drinks alcohol on their holiday, none at all. I just want to show those who might want/need to hear it, that AF holidays are no...
Read more