The New 4am Club: Breaking the Cycle of 'Grey Area' Drinking

There are two 4 o’clocks in each day, but let’s face it, most of us only see one. For me, though, there were times when I more regularly greeted both. First came the days of late night clubs and after parties, where the cure for the morning after fog was a Sunday afternoon “hair of the dog”. Back then, hangovers were easier to brush off; it was just me and my own choices to navigate.

Fast forward to the baby years, and my 4am wake up calls looked very different. I began to understand why some people reconsider their relationship with alcohol during this stage of life, seamlessly adjusting their habits. But not me - I still loved it! Sure, the setting shifted from bars to red wine on the sofa, but if you really want to, you can find a new rhythm. With one child and a local job, those Saturday night rituals continued, bringing comfort and familiarity.

Then came the game changer: a growing family and a new job. Suddenly, I was juggling long commutes, baby related sleepless nights, and a nagging sense of guilt at 4am when my mind would spiral into overthinking. I felt torn, pushing for career success while longing to be more present for my wife, son, and newborn daughter. Those early morning wake-ups are, as they say, a dangerous time to think, with the mind amplifying doubts and insecurities.

Patterns started to surface. If there was no early start the next day, I could get by. But come Sunday night and the early hours of Monday morning, a sense of dread would start to surface and a feeling of being stuck in a loop. Most Saturday nights involved some form of drinking, even if it was just at home. It felt like a way to unwind, a brief escape from life’s demands. Yet those late nights started to bleed into the early hours, becoming “parties for one” and ultimately leaving me feeling empty and disconnected.

The same reasoning from bygone years played on repeat, stories like: “As long as I stop by 6pm, I’ll be fine by morning." I clung to these justifications, unwilling to question whether they were actually still serving me. Over time, though, something shifted. I began to notice that the relief I sought from alcohol was fleeting, and the emotional cost was growing too high to ignore and beginning to outweigh any positives.

This was my first real glimpse into the concept of grey area drinking, not hitting rock bottom, but realising that alcohol had crept into a space where it no longer aligned with the life I wanted to lead. It wasn’t about judging myself or others but simply pausing to reflect. I started to ask, Is this really still working for me and is there an alternative?