Liberation from Moderation

As the often sketchy memories of the noughties weekends were being boxed up with my Nokia 3310 and Razorlight CDs, the holy grail of drinking was shifting towards finding the sweet spot known as 'moderation'. Drinking moderately seems to be the default answer when someone questions their relationship with alcohol, but, in reality, moderation wasn’t easy for me. Often unknowingly, I spent time setting rules, making deals with myself and planning when I could have a drink and when I couldn’t, particularly as my responsibilities increased. It was tiring but, seemingly, the only option if I wanted to drink differently. Before deciding to take the plunge, I had never really considered that AF was a choice at all, but once I realised the benefits it could have, my mindset started to shift. Moderation might have been worth the effort before, now though I asked myself: why drink even a little? Previously, I could see only two options: 

Drink freely, relax, and enjoy it. No counting, no rules. 

Or

Drink moderately, sticking to the ‘low risk’ limit of less than 14 units a week, spread across several days.

A previously unthinkable third option had emerged though as my perspective on moderation began to shift. Instead of putting my energy into drinking less, I realised I could just… not drink. And for me, it has been a far more liberating option. 

Drinking Freely

If I was drinking freely, it was rarely just a couple. I certainly wasn’t drinking to excess every time, but the idea of stopping after one or two felt unnatural. As the initial buzz would fade, I’d usually want to keep going; which is actually pretty normal as we seek to recapture that first drink feeling (check out William Porter's, Alcohol Explained). The problem is, that then happens with the next drink too, and the one after that, and the one after that, and so on. By this point, if you are that way inclined, it’s pretty easy to keep going. In my case, this would lead to the lows I described in the The New 4am Club, not a place I wanted to be given my growing desire to be a more productive, present and reliable version of myself. Drinking freely was no longer on the table: I needed to break from that.  

Moderation

Altering your neuro-chemistry in a positive way seemed like a strong case for ‘having a couple’, but that appeal faded once I recognised the subsequent negative effects that those drinks had on me. Not to mention that I, like many others, have always been susceptible to moderate intentions going awry! It is actually the argument of 'enjoying the taste' or 'drinking to be social' that I find the most compelling when thinking about moderation, but then I find myself in that balancing act territory and for what benefit really? It was exactly those justifications that led me to returning to alcohol though. I enjoy the strong, complex flavours that alcoholic drinks contain and I am also a social creature, but I have now realised that moderation really isn’t the best of both worlds for me. The landscape of what to drink, if not alcohol, has changed greatly in the last few years too with plenty of AF alternatives emerging. Of course these are not exactly the same, but they scratch the itch when you fancy something a bit more grown up than a fruit shoot. Guinness 0.0 has become a personal favourite, it has a stronger flavour than a lot of the lagers and it’s quite regularly available in pubs so there's not really an excuse not to invite me for beers. 😉  

Liberation from Moderation

I know there are people out there who have one or two, enjoy it, and move on. There were times I wished I was one of them, and times I was one, but I’ve stopped chasing that now. I am not saying that no one should drink, you do what's best for you. I am, as always, sharing for those who might be looking for an alternative for whatever reason. I've found a peace in AF that moderation couldn't provide me and, despite many years of not knowing it, the third option doesn't have to be a lifelong battle of will power. Choosing AF really can be a liberating choice.

 

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