The Morning After, The Life Before

The Hangover

Squinting, I reached over to grab my phone. The green LED was flashing, and I couldn’t resist that little hit, a dose of dopamine when I needed it the most. I checked the time and it was 10:30am, that was disturbing. Megan and the kids were playing downstairs and I could hear them laughing and enjoying their Sunday morning. They were present together physically, mentally and emotionally; I wasn't there and even hearing them wasn’t enough to spark me into life. Lifting my head from the pillow brought a wave of nausea, and the thought of facing the world, even my beloved family, filled me with dread. Instead, I opened my WhatsApp, perhaps in the hope of finding something that would miraculously shift my state of mind at least. This was a monstrous hangover though.

I couldn’t focus so I shut one eye to unblur the writing on the phone that was in my outstretched arm across the bed. There was a thread in the chat and while I lay there thinking of something witty to respond with, the anxiety was ramping up. Eventually I dragged myself to the shower, maybe an hour had passed, who knows, but I still hadn’t ventured downstairs (not since I had hauled myself off the sofa in the early hours). Eventually the basics were done, teeth brushed, showered, dressed and, tentatively, I made my way downstairs. It was a tricky Sunday to battle through but it wasn’t like I hadn’t had hangovers of epic proportions before. Something about this one felt different though, it feels different even when I recall it now. It was a beastly hangover too many, the final drop in the bucket, time for change.  

A better way to start the day

Nowadays, far from battling through hangovers of ‘epic proportions’, my weekend mornings often start with a few easy miles to get the endorphins flowing. In fact, it is not only weekends, morning runs are now a regular part of my weekly routine. I never was a ‘morning person’, I love my sleep, but now I get a fear of missing out if I lay in bed for too long. When I go away, taking my running kit is essential. Jogging along a tranquil coastline as the sun is rising before 7am is my idea of bliss; then showered, dressed and ready for coffee and breakfast. Physically, mentally and emotionally present all while I might have been scrambling around for blue light dopamine hits, hydration and some decent quality sleep. Now that’s a happy place for me!

Playing the tape forward

Of course, starting the day with exercise is not exclusive to those who are AF. Equally, it is not the only way to reap the rewards of choosing AF but, for me, it has been a big part of the many benefits of being hangover free that I have listed below. These have all directly affected me and led to a state of mind whereby I no longer perceive that I am missing out by living AF. 

  • More inclined to exercise

  • Less cravings for unhealthy food (or more alcohol)

  • Emotional stability 

  • No regrets (money, health risks, or loose-tongued conversations etc.)

  • Mental clarity

  • Motivation, energy and productivity

In her book, This Naked Mind, Annie Grace provided a quote that has helped me enjoy AF nights out when she said “you’ll never wake up in the morning wishing you had drunk the night before”. By 'playing the tape forward' and looking to the next day knowing that something better lies ahead, I can enjoy nights out without the feeling that I'm missing out. This also plays into Tony Robbins notion that in order to make lasting change happen you need a 'strong enough reason to change and a powerful vision for the future'. The pain of hangovers alone might not have been enough to make me want to change, but I certainly don’t miss them. And the further I go on this AF journey, the easier it becomes to see the rewards that lie ahead.

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